Quasi Blog Post, Kinda...

My last procrastination run lasted about 5 months so I thought I'd really out-do myself and wait 9 months this time! I WIN!!!! 

No, really, I lose. But, in my defense, I feel less and less inclined to write a post because I feel more and more assimilated. Is that a good thing? To a certain extent, yes. A lot of things don't phase me anymore and I don't feel compelled to write about it here because it's become rather commonplace or, in more technical terms, "Meh." But, then again, I DO NOT want to be THAT assimilated, lol. I still want some things to bother me! And, fear not, they do!

I have a backlog of pictures just waiting to be uploaded here and appropriately ridiculed. But, today's post is a little more serious. My buddy, Suzette Won, posted a link on her FB about Asians and their body image. It was an interesting read and I felt compelled to comment on it because there seemed to be a cultural disconnect from where the older generation might have been coming from and how we and the younger generation receive such admonishments about being "overweight." For context, please read the original article. It's not very long...here's the link:

http://www.xojane.com/issues/fat-for-an-asian-the-pressure-to-be-naturally-perfect

Finished? Okay. So I want to address a particular part of that discussion; the part where our elders feel the need to comment on our bodies (sometimes pretty openly and embarrassingly) and maybe even others'. I am not referring to our bitchy sisters or cousins or friends who are actually being assholes about it because they have their own issues, but the older peeps who just can't help but comment on our weight. And, in a twist, I am going to defend them. What, what, what?!? Read on....

I am going to play devil's advocate a bit, even though I am a Korean-American woman who is, by Asian standards, fat. Yes, it's very disheartening (at best) and outrageously, personally offensive (at worst) to be called "fat" by relatives or close friends (followed by a regimen to follow to help me lose said fat); the "American/Western" side of me totally feels that to the hilt. BUT...I can also see it from the flip side. For several millennia, it was very uncommon to be Asian and overweight (unless you had a rare genetic issue or some other physio/biological prob). Even if you were from a privileged class, it was hard to be fat as an Asian; just wasn't in the cultural gene pool. To be slim and petite was, and to a certain extent still is, the norm of the culture. I am in Korea now and it is still a rare sight to see a woman here who would be categorized as large or curvy. As a matter of fact, when I see someone who is just larger in general, I want to walk over to her and give her a big ol' high-five like a complete weirdo just to say, "Hey, I feel ya, girl."

But I'll tell you this, being bigger IS becoming more prevalent. The Korean diet is changing due to the introduction and appeal of Western foods, which are more fatty in general. People here are getting taller but they are also getting heavier. Genes can't outplay caloric bombardment...at least, not for long. So now put yourself in the shoes of our ethnic parents or the older generation or those who pretty much live in a culture of NOT being singular in any way. Conforming is considered best (at least it is in Korea and I know it's true in Japan as well). But once you start stepping over what they consider the norm (or, to them, the standard), they become concerned. When I think of it that way, I can't blame them for saying such things. Koreans have been smaller/thinner/petite(r?) for thousands of years and to expect that mindset to be changed just because Western culture believes it's rude to talk about someone's weight, well that's just as ignorant. Believe me, I've tried.
 
Try not to think of it as "Oh, they want me to lose weight because they think being fat is ugly" but more as they are pointing it out because culturally speaking, you are moving away from something that has been a certain way (in general) for thousands of years, at least from their perspective. Even more importantly, it might also be viewed as losing a certain part of the culture due to what is seen as external (ahem, Western) influences. I'm greatly Americanized and even I deeply feel the pain of seeing one's culture erode away bit by bit due to the juggernaut that is Western culture. They also know that when you're not conforming to the norm, you are likely  subject to ridicule from the group of which you are deviating. Do our loved ones want that for us? Of course not. And as much as I want to say that the West, particularly my beloved America, is more open-minded about being a little heavier/curvier, you can take one good look at the values of our media (and if we're honest, with ourselves) and see that we're not that far off from thinking that being thinner is far better than being larger. On a more individual basis, sure we're more evolved, but as a whole, we still have a long way to go.

My mom never saw a fat person in her whole life while she was in Korea. In her heyday, she was 4'11" and 89 lbs. So, when we moved to America, understandably she harangued me from middle school on until the end of my college years for being too big. In her eyes, it just wasn't natural and she also knew it wouldn't be good for me physically or socially. <<She also fed me like it was the last day of my life on a daily basis. Hello, paradox.>> But now, years later, I know where all that might have come from. And even though I am fine with what I look like now (and so is my mom, finally, after living in America for over 34 years, and being exposed to the variety of shapes and sizes that people come in), I can't and won't hold the words she has said to me against her because they just may have come from a very culturally defined place. 

These days, I am sure that a lot of Korean women are starving themselves to fit whatever is expected of them and that they're not just genetically destined to look that slim. I can't say where their individual motivation to be twiggy stems from. Maybe it's the monolithic K-pop movement that tells them what they should aspire to look like. Or maybe it's their own esteem issues. Or maybe it's still the desire not to look too different from everyone else. And everyone else here is still very, very thin. 

I know I am not the only one who has experienced this. Feel free to weigh in. Get it? Weigh in?). I kill me.

Will update with an another post soon; one that is more in-line with the usual tone of this blog.